A few years ago I wrote the reasons why I don’t need feminism (i.e., modern “feminism”). It was a rather popular post in response to a troubling trend that was starting back then but that we’re all now too familiar with: Women wanting to rise up against men, and men being made to be less than women, to be OK with constantly being emasculated.
Brands, companies, and the media proclaim that Women Rule The World and other BS like that. Because apparently men are either good-for-nothing wallflowers now or monsters. Or both.
That’s sadly a trend that’s continued but one I’m proud to NOT partake in.
The post below comes from a fellow Millennial (AKA The Conservative Millennial) who’s also against today’s “feminism.” She posted it on Facebook and I thought it’d be a great continuation to my previous post, so I wanted to share it with you: (Any emphasis, bolding and additional notes [in brackets] are mine.)
I Don’t Need Feminism
I want to give a little perspective on why I at times feel stuck in the middle of the tension between wanting to be a feminist and recognizing the toxic nature of today’s feminism:
I’ve always been independent and competitive. I’m goal-driven. I love working; I imagine I’ll be working on one thing or another for the rest of my life. I love seeing other women succeed. I’m proud of women’s accomplishments and the progress we’ve made around the world. I believe sexism exists. I believe misogyny exists. I believe abuse against women is a problem. I believe harmful stereotypes of women (and men) exist. I want women to have the same rights that men have. I wholeheartedly believe in empowering women to be anything they want to be.
I’m also married [in my case, about to be married] to a man that I am happy to depend on for lots of things – for love, for support, for opening jars, for fixing the TV, for lifting things that I can’t and for (sometimes, rarely, maybe once ;)) educating me on things I don’t know. He also depends on me for things.
We both work full-time and share the load of housework. I believe that my husband and I, and all men and women, have different but equally important roles. I believe it’s okay and right and good for men to protect women. I believe both men and women can be brave and strong, but that that bravery and strength needn’t look the same.
I want to be a mom one day. I plan to raise my daughters to be girls and my sons to be boys. My sons will be taught to protect their sisters, and my daughters will be taught to defend themselves.
I won’t teach my daughters the lie that systemic sexism will hold them back, and I won’t teach my sons to be ashamed of their masculinity. I’ll remind my daughters what an incredible blessing it is to live in a country where they get to enjoy all the rights that men have. I’ll encourage my sons to be men even in a culture that seeks to emasculate them. I’ll teach my sons to honor women, and I’ll teach my daughters how to respond to men who disrespect them. I’ll teach all of them that by God’s grace they can be anything they want to be, and that the American Dream is theirs for the taking.
The problem is, there shouldn’t have to be a “BUT” at all. And that’s the identity crisis many women like me are facing. We want to get behind a movement that empowers women, but today’s feminism just isn’t doing it for us. It’s diametrically opposed to so much of what we value and want to fight for.
Feminism is now defined by the emasculation of men, gender fluidity and free birth control. Empowerment = “reproductive rights” (aka abortion) rather than actual success. By today’s standards, in order to be a feminist, you must love Planned Parenthood, hate Donald Trump and ignore any distinction between men and women. You can’t applaud conservative women and you certainly can’t BE a conservative.
So, how is that empowering? How is that equal? How is that progress? How is that FEMINISM?
It’s not. That’s why I’m not a part of it. And if you’re like me, you don’t have to be either.
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Her post spoke to me in so many ways because it practically put in my mouth all that I had been wanting to say (and have said). Don’t you love it when you find something that sounds like you could’ve said it?
That’s why I’m such a big fan of this Conservative Millennial gal and this post (well, all her posts, really).
Geez Louise, “feminism” is SO wrong these days! By focusing on diminishing men’s role in AND contributions to society, all feminism has managed to do is push away some worthy women who believe in strengthening both genders.
Yes, abuse and misogyny exist. But “feminists” attribute all their faults and failures and misfortunes to men. MEN. Because men are evil, y’all. And us men lovers are abused, narrow-minded, and don’t know any better.
If we make less in the workplace than men, it’s because we’re women. (Though I have it on good authority that I could be the top compensated in my department–not the woman who makes the most [excluding my superiors], but the member who makes the most. And I’m a woman.)
NEWSFLASH: Men are awesome! I was raised by one and I’m about to marry another. And let me tell you: better men than those two don’t exist. My future husband and I are also planning on raising good humans, boys and girls (>> I had to be politically correct there because I don’t yet know what God will let us bring to the world) who become good world citizens.
Where do YOU stand on the “feminism” issue?