If you’re a goody two-shoes (herein “GTS”), chances are you can’t stand how most people nowadays can live the way they do. And I’m with ya, sister!
But I don’t call them out on it “in the real world” because, well, they think they’re “normal” and would probably stone me.
So instead I came up with seven reasons why you and I are actually normal, and they’re the odd ones who don’t know what they’re missing by being a goody two-shoes:
(WARNING: Watch out b/c these can get “controversial”…)
|via Etsy seller BecaReads|
1. AS A GTS, YOU’RE ALWAYS HEALTHY AND SANE
- You either don’t drink (because you don’t see the point–welcome to my camp!) or you drink responsibly knowing that too much alcohol makes you do really stupid things: You never let alcohol cloud your judgment.
- You find it classless to A) drunk-blog, drunk-tweet, drunk-Facebook, drunk-booty-call (and so you never do any of these) AND B) brag about drunk-doing anything like, well, someone who thinks that that even deserves merit.
- You also don’t brag about how your life depends on a particular alcoholic beverage like an alcoholic or a pesky high schooler who should know better.
2. AS A GTS, YOU DON’T EVER HAVE A RISK OF GETTING AN STD OR GETTING PREGNANT
Here’s the thing: I’ve never done the deed; in fact, I’m waiting til I get married to do so.
This isn’t because my Church tells me so (I adore the Catholic Church dearly, but I don’t exactly stop doing things b/c the Church frowns upon them) OR because I haven’t had the chance to, either. I may be REreading the 50 Shades series this Summer (whatever, I genuinely like the romance behind it all), but if I really felt like having sex, I’d have married my boyfriend who quasi-proposed two years ago. That’s right, I’d be a Mrs. by now. (:-/ SO not ready.)
Where is the treasure of silence, of things not shown? Where is the mystery? Our openness is a good thing, …, but it has made indiscretion the norm.
(Granted, our circumstances are nothing alike BUT sometimes it takes someone who used to do it for other doers to get what us non-doers are truly enjoying. >> Get it?)
3. AS A GTS, YOU’LL NEVER FALL FOR AN UNAVAILABLE GUY
What do Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Matt Damon, Channing Tatum, Jimmy Fallon, etc. have in common? They’re famous? Well, sure. But that’s not it: They’re unavailable. Whether they’re married or simply commitment-phobes, it doesn’t matter, b/c they’re unattainable and not worth it in every way.
So why covet them? Why not respect that belongs to someone else? I think it’s sickening to hear women who are “in love” with married men or married dads–regardless of whether they’re famous. If it ain’t yours, control yourself. One reason: If he breaks the vows he made to someone else, imagine what he’ll do to you.
In my case, my crush on a guy who I thought was gorgeous always ends the minute I hear he is married or seriously committed to someone. Channing Tatum? Mmm I had loved him from the minute I laid eyes on his dancing bod in Step Up. But then he started dating his costar. (At which point my crush had started to fade.) And then they got married. (Bye, bye, bye, crush!) And then they had a baby. (I don’t miss you, crush.)
Read more on what I think about being attracted to married men.
So, ladies, know your worth, value yourself, and don’t lust or get attracted to men that you can’t have. Also, I don’t get live-in couples.
4. AS A GTS, YOU NEVER GET IN TROUBLE
- As a goody two-shoes, your life is so wholesome and so full that you never look to unhealthy vices for entertainment.
- You never depend on someone else for “entertainment” either.
- To you, the speed limit isn’t a challenge that you must overcome.
- You also understand the meaning of “interacting with your phone while driving is dangerous“and decide not to ever test that finding.
- And you also don’t think sex is a requirement for a healthy relationship because you’ve learned that healthful, blissful relationships (I’m single, so I’m referring to premarital relationships here) depend on much deeper things than “it.”
5. AS A GTS, YOU DON’T SEE YOURSELF AS (OR ACT LIKE YOU’RE) THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE
- You know there IS a higher power somewhere, and you like to call him (her?) by whatever name you please–God, Allah, Heavenly Father, Yahweh, the Universe, etc.
- You also know this higher power has your best interests at heart; he presents you with choices (or a fully spelled-out destiny–depending on what you believe–or a combination of the two) and you decide what happens.
- You know there aren’t “mistakes,” because everything yields a lesson you can learn.
- Knowing all that (PLUS the tenets of your faith) helps keep you sane, because you know/have faith that something bigger and wiser than you is keeping you safe, teaching you lessons, and rewarding you for making healthy choices.
6. AS A GTS, YOU TRULY CHERISH YOUR ELDERS
- Your parents don’t represent a nuisance, but rather people whose company you find yourself craving.
- Along those lines, your parents’ pieces of advice are 99.9% of the time something you value as though they were The Commandments. (And from experience you know they’re right 99.9% of the time, too.)
- You learn that there are no bad professors–they’re just maybe old-fashioned, misguided, condescending, or too liberal for your taste. But they are in charge of your grade, so you should never think of them as “bad.”
7. LAST BUT NOT LEAST: AS A GTS, YOU BEGIN TO NOTICE, AS YOU READ OTHER PEOPLE’S BLOGS, THAT YOUR LIFE IS BETTER AND YOU’RE DEFINITELY MORE CONTENT
You may not subscribe to their idea of a good time (Woohoo! Getting drunk! Clubbing all night long! Recovering from a hangover! Moving in w/the boyfriend who wants nothing more! Funnn! PUH-LEEEEZ), but you DO realize that this crazy land we all know as blogland is made up of very diverse people that you can decide to follow, connect with, and develop blog-crushes over, or unfollow, despise, and abandon at any time.
And you wouldn’t have it any other way.
AND NOW A NOTE…
Did I offend anyone? While that wasn’t my intention, I would like to admit that:
1) I’m a realist and a cynic, and I’m most often right when I don’t see things through rose-colored lenses like some others do; and
2) This post was indirectly inspired by this one, which unjustifiably sounds a lil judgey towards Mormons. In reality, Mormons and Christians and Catholics and Muslims and Buddhists (etc.) with morals are just that: People with morals who try to live our lives without being criticized by “liberated” individuals who value promiscuity, alcohol, non-commitment, among other fun (for them) things. So I’m sorry if I offended anyone, but not sorry that that’s how I feel.